What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. What happens in Washington gets fixed by Herman Cain. >> Get this fact on a shirt
Herman Cain is not politically correct. He is just correct. Always. >> Get this fact on a shirt
The Apollo 13 astronauts called Houston to report a problem because they heard Herman Cain was there.
All of Herman Cain’s genes are dominant
Physicists recently found a particle that moves faster than the speed of light. It was on the way to a Herman Cain speech.
Herman Cain is colorblind. Not because of ideology, but because most colors are afraid to show themselves. This greatly annoys MSNBC.
No asteroids have hit planet Earth since Herman Cain was born. This is not a coincidence
There is no such thing as a No Fly Zone. Just a list of places where Herman Cain is strict about gravity.
In 1947 Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier. Herman Cain fixed it.
Al Gore didn’t invent the internet. Herman Cain invented it for his fourth grade science project
Herman Cain gave the Godfather an offer he couldn’t refuse. Then he rescued his pizza joint from bankruptcy.
Every morning the American flag pledges allegiance to Herman Cain.
Herman Cain once played Russian Roulette. Russia lost.
Herman Cain knows how much wood a woodchuck could chuck. The 999 plan increases the rate.
When a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, its because they were at a Herman Cain rally.
Rome wasn’t built in a day because Herman Cain was busy doing other stuff.
One time Herman Cain did the Hokey Pokey. He turned the country around.
The “nothing to fear but fear itself” axiom fails to account for Herman Cain.
There is no such thing as Global Warming. Its just that Herman Cain’s wife got cold, and asked him to do something.
Telemarketers usually wind up buying stuff from Herman Cain.
Herman Cain caught the early bird and the worm.
As president of the National Restaurant Association, Herman Cain didn’t invent eating, but he popularized it.
It is better to give than to receive. The 999 plan will let everyone do more of both.
The army created its slogan “an Army of one” after it heard about Herman Cain’s defense strategy.
Herman Cain doesn’t cry wolf. He makes wolves cry.
There are no mysteries of the universe. Just a bunch of stuff Herman Cain hasn’t explained to us yet.
Herman Cain is the kind of guy who will give you the shirt off his back. But the 9-9-9 plan will create an environment where you can buy your own.
Herman Cain takes the second amendment seriously. He has bear arms.
Herman Cain can make onions cry. But he generally prefers to run a positive campaign.
Herman Cain is the reason you shouldn’t mess with Texas. Rick Perry is just the governor.
Herman Cain’s first order of business after being elected President will be to secure the border. By himself.
Herman Cain went on a wild goose chase one day. He caught the goose.
Behind every successful man is a good woman. Herman Cain is in front of them telling them to hurry up.
When Herman Cain plays monopoly it affects the world economy.
One day Herman Cain got involved in a gun fight while protecting women and children. The gun lost.
One day Herman Cain went to the Running of the Bulls in Spain. The bulls ran away.
Herman Cain doesn’t prepare dinner. Dinner knows when to be ready.
One day some hippies told Herman Cain to join the Occupy Wall Street movement. He told them to occupy a job and take a shower.
George Washington cut down his father’s cherry tree. Herman Cain put it back together. It bore many cherries.
Herman Cain is the reason nobody has seen Bigfoot in a while.
The Cain Train is the only high speed rail project that is going anywhere. Its going to the White House.
Herman Cain doesn’t balance a budget. The budget quivers in fear and balances itself.
The chicken crossed the road because Herman Cain told him to.
Herman Cain can teach a dog new tricks
The reason we don’t need to reinvent the wheel is because Herman Cain already did. And his is better.
Herman Cain is the reason the Little Engine that Could did.
If at first you don’t succeed its probably because you went against Herman Cain, which was dumb.
Herman Cain invented bootstraps so he would have something to pick himself up by. It worked.
Herman Cain can judge a book by its cover.
Herman Cain is not a politician. He is a problem solver.
Herman Cain is not a politician. He is honest.
Herman Cain is the reason Mona Lisa is smiling
Herman Cain is not a cancer survivor. He is a cancer destroyer.
Herman Cain didn’t cheat death. He beat it fair and square.
One time someone brought a teleprompter to a speech for Herman Cain to use. He used it as a pizza tray.
Herman Cain put Humpty Dumpty back together again. Then he told him to get a job.
One day Superman asked Herman Cain for an autograph, but Herman Cain was too busy saving the world.
When someone is between a rock and a hard place its usually because Herman Cain has them surrounded.
Herman Cain is suing the producers of the movie “Gone in Sixty Seconds” for stealing the name of his deficit reduction plan.
Herman Cain can lead a horse to water AND make it drink, but he doesn’t think that should be the role of government.
Herman Cain doesn’t want to cut taxes. He wants to puree them into pizza sauce with parmesan and basil to make it taste good.
Herman Cain once killed three birds with one stone. They deserved it.
Herman’s parents did not name him. When he was born, he turned to the doctor, shook his hand, and said “I’m Herman Cain, pleasure to meet you”
Herman Cain doesn’t just complain about the weather. He does something about it.
When Godfather Pizza was going broke, Herman Cain told the pizza to start tasting better, and it did.
Herman Cain is the reason that clouds have silver linings.
One day a liberal heckler called Herman Cain’s radio show. His phone melted.
Herman Cain knows who let the dogs out, and has punished him appropriately.
Herman Cain did not grow up in the south. Herman Cain has always been grown up.
Herman Cain stopped for gas in South Carolina and inadvertently won a Primary debate.
A 15 min call to Herman Cain will save you 15% on your federal deficit.
Herman Cain had cancer once, but he told it to go away and get a real job, and it did.
Herman Cain invented tea and parties.
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey; along came Herman Cain & his 999 plan fixed the economy so she ate steak and lobster.
Herman Cain is the reason there are only four Horsemen of the Apocalypse left.
The Great Wall of China was built to keep Herman Cain out. It doesn’t work.